My 13 - Ch 25

My 13
By Kitteh and NeoFox
Rating: PG - 15
Warnings: Language, violence, romance
Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto, Kakashi x Iruka
Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto
Summary: After Sasuke's departure hope had nearly been lost. Days later it was Naruto's own determination to bring him back that allowed him a chance to train in the ranks of ANBU and earn him the title of Hunter-nin. Now a year later on a quest to find the one thing he lost he runs into a mysterious person on his twelfth mission. The few traits of Akatsuki are clearly seen, but it is not the eldest Uchiha behind the Sharingan eyes.
Beta: Kitteh and NeoFox

Chapter 25

It was pitch black out in Konoha and few lamps were on to light the way for people that continued to walk the streets on their way home. It was late into the evening so there weren't any real people out at all since it was well past midnight, but one person had decided against his own wishes for company to venture out after curiosity got the better of him.

The seals Naruto had placed on the apartment in the past had long been released since Sasuke could easily dismiss them. He left a much better note for the other boy this time around, telling his friend he was going out for a walk in the village to clear his head just in case Naruto woke up before he left the apartment while still in his pajamas.

Sasuke's feet led him somewhere he never thought he would be again. What had once been the Uchiha district, now just a normal part of Konoha. Even though looking at the no longer empty houses hurt more then ever, Sasuke continued on until he found what used to be his own home. He didn't listen in to find out if anyone had taken over the large house, but instead, moved towards the backyard as quietly as he could until he could see the familiar tree in the distance.

Even in the dark Sasuke could see the garden was no longer there. What little garden Sasuke had tried to upkeep like his mother was plowed away and a simple yet lifeless rock garden took its place. Even the grass was dug up and replaced with gravel paths and beds of sand with a few plants that would rarely need the care of handling.

There across, far across the stone garden, was their tree. The place Itachi had told Sasuke in his dreams to meet him. Or- had it been the real Itachi had told him before the dream he stood in began. Either way, Sasuke had yet to slip into that sleep to see him, or to wake up from this sleep to reality.

Sasuke walked across the destroyed garden towards the tree. He tried to ignore the way the rocks dug into his bare feet, having left his shoes back at the apartment. Once he was close enough he looked up at the branches and reached out to touch the trunk. His fingers moved across the wood for a few seconds until he was leaning against it, using his shoulder, and he allowed his eyes to shut.

The seconds ticked by, counted out by the quick beat of Sasuke's pulse. Nothing. Nothing but the darkness behind his eyes and the sounds of night all around a district that was no longer his clan's.

Perhaps Naruto had done too good a job at keeping the 'dreams' away. He was saner and yet he was already enthused to jump right back into discombobulation once more.

"Why are you so ready to indulge in a fantasy land again?" Sasuke soon realized those thoughts were external. Not Itachi. Not Naruto. But he knew them. He knew the voice like the feel of water that had fielded over the rock garden around. Something about the voice told Sasuke better to not open his eyes. "You like the crimson firefly buzzing around inside your head?"

Sasuke relaxed against the tree and indeed kept his eyes closed for the time being. The voice was something familiar and if he reached back he was certain he could find out just who it was speaking to him. "I just want to find out the truth. So far nothing is working and if it means indulging in illusions and reality both, then I'll do it."

"No," the voice was coming from above; who ever was speaking was perched above him in the tree. "Nothing so noble. You know the truth, you just don't want to admit to it. You like that world. Everything in it is exactly what you want." Sasuke could hear a few things brush near, around. His senses could feel the movement each, soft fur, lashing lazily around near him. "And if you deny it, you're a liar, Juusan."

"Maybe so." Sasuke was quick to lift a hand up so he could pet fingers through the fur that was nearby. It put his mind even more at ease, but still he wouldn't open his eyes. "I do wish things could be like that, but I won't admit to something that would hurt Naruto's feelings. He's taking care of me and trying so hard to help me, but now I can't even tell if maybe he's the dream." His hand stopped and dropped back down while his mind finally grabbed onto the name it had been trying to find. "I don't know what else to do but figure things out on my own, Kyuu."

"Reality is subjective." Kyuu leaned down from his low perch to brush his clawed fingers over Sasuke's hair much like the boy had done to one of his tails. "Heh. I doubt you can figure out in one night what millions of generations have failed to figure out 'what is real'." A tail curled around Sasuke, brushing against his cheek. "I don't think you're here to answer that question, Juusan, I think you're here to answer 'what do I like better'."

Sasuke could feel his shoulders slump with those last few words. He hadn't tried to think over such a thing very much since he was too afraid of the answer. "Wouldn't I just disappointment myself later on if I liked a dream better? It's not real. I shouldn't try and worry about such a thing. I should just be happy with what I have and try to force everything else away." Sasuke turned his head towards the one tail that was nearby. "But, I don't even think that's possible."

"Dreams can be lucid. Some say that a dream is simply another world our soul visits. This world that has Naruto, it might be a dream your soul is visiting." Kyuu chuckled at the musings as he took his hand back, but the tail stayed round Sasuke for him to take what indulgence or comforts he pleased for the moment. "Perhaps both realities are dreams, and your true reality lies elsewhere."

"Elsewhere?" Sasuke echoed the word quietly under his breath. It left him even more confused to think that maybe both realities had been dreams. "So everything I've been witnessing, none of it maybe real at all?" He brought the soft fur closer to nuzzle near it with his cheek, taking comfort in it while his mind took no ease in what he had just been told. "I don't know what to think anymore, Kyuu. I thought you said you were going to help me before."

"I'm keeping your mind open," Kyuu answered with light amusement. "But I never said I'd 'help' you specifically. The game is still going; the rules are still in play." A thoughtful sort of purr left Kyuu. "You started my request, so that is why I'm here interfering with what the crimson firefly is doing. Heh, it's been a long while since I've had a taste of the open for myself. Dream or not, it is delicious."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes a little while still shut at the answer he got, but he didn't object to it. He still wasn't content with the situation going on. He knew why he had come here to begin with. He was curious by nature and it was what led him to the tree. "Itachi had a question for me, but I have no idea what it was or if I should even care what it was." He let out a thoughtful noise before he decided to speak up again, "Do you know what it was, Kyuu?"

Sasuke could sense the tilt of head that Kyuu gave. Kyuu was indeed intrigued. "If you're asking a question for the game use the polite 'please' when you ask." Another tail coiled loosely around one of Sasuke's arms. "And... I'll return the favour."

Sasuke hesitated for a moment as if afraid to actually ask. Did he really want to know as badly as he made it seem? Of course he did come all the way out to his old home to see if Itachi would be there as soon as he closed his eyes. Maybe he really did wish to know. "Please tell me if you know anything, Kyuu."

"Tch. You're so unspecific, Juusan. Yes, of course, I know plenty. I know a lot of things, not just pertaining to all of this. But that wasn't what you meant to ask, was it? No. But too bad, you've already asked and I answered." Kyuu settled back against the trunk of the tree. "My turn now. Please tell me which reality you like best, Juusan. You don't necessarily have to tell me why if you don't want. I'll take a simple answer."

Sasuke finally snapped his eyes open at the fact he had been cheated out of his answer in a way that felt wrong to him. He didn't glance up where he knew Kyuu was hiding, but kept his eyes ahead while he finally let go of the other's tail to stubbornly cross his arms. "I don't know." In truth he really wasn't sure. In one reality his family was safe and his brother loved him and praised him more then anyone else. In another his life had been through so much hell, but there was one person that had pieced it all back together and who loved him dearly. A person that was his true family now. "I... I really don't know, Kyuu."

Dark water rested over the rock garden, spreading on to forever. It had become too dark to see the neighbouring houses; even Sasuke's old house seemed only an empty outline in the dark around. All that seemed apparent was that dark water and the tree Sasuke leaned on and behind above Kyuu perched.

Kyuu had taken mild interest in Sasuke's inability to answer. "Oh? I think it's a very simple choice. It's easy to figure out. Just ask yourself: which would you like to stay in permanently?" A few tails skimmed over the water never disturbing its surface. The tails around Sasuke drifted away while others lashed near but out of reach.

Sasuke didn't seem all that disturbed by what he saw around him as he continued to stare straight ahead and relaxed against the tree's trunk. "I've always wanted Itachi to love me and look out for me. His praise has always meant the most to me more then anything else," he began quietly. Slowly he dropped his eyes down and started to twist his fingers as well. "It feels good to know he loves me like he should and not to have to fight him, but at the same time I'm not allowed near Naruto it seems. In that dream he means nothing to me and it always hurts to know that. Naruto picked me up from the rut I was in. He was happy that I considered him my family and wanted so badly to be mine as well, but in that world my brother despises me and my family is dead." Sasuke slid down the tree a little. "My home is gone and my real family is gone as well. Why would I want that?"

"So, which is it? A choice of lesser evils and grander betters." Kyuu clacked his claws together for a moment, a thoughtful moment. "Which is more appealing? Obviously you seek the one with your brother still. You wouldn't be here if it didn't suit you."

Maybe Kyuu was right. Sasuke couldn't deny that his curiosity had gotten the better of him all because of his need to speak with his brother again. He ran his hands through his hair because of his sudden stress before he dropped one to rub at the spot on his neck. He felt nothing at the moment, but it didn't surprise him. Maybe it was just the odd situation of being stuck between whatever dream he was in. "Maybe. I guess." Sasuke sighed and looked away to the side as he finally gave in. "Yes, you're right. I know I said I would try not to believe it. I told Naruto that, but he just doesn't understand."

"So you prefer the family dream over the Naruto dream?" Kyuubi forwardly asked. He wanted spoken clarity finally for his question. Despite knowing, hearing was different. It would set things in stone for either of them.

Sasuke swallowed hard and he was cautious to answer right away. He slid down further and soon crossed his arms over his middle as he started to feel sick. For some reason he felt as if admitting to something like this would kill so much more then just a silly dream. "Y-Yes." As soon as the admittance left him he wished more then anything he could take it back and shut his eyes tight.

Kyuu's steps down the tree were silent but Sasuke could feel the approach. His hand settled atop Sasuke's head, not for comfort but more for understanding. "You're not the first person in the world to be selfish, Juusan." He patted Sasuke's head like he was assuring a small child. "And I know this is not the first time you've ever been selfish. You live off it, drinking it all in like a black tick, and never give back. It suits you; a black tick siblings with the crimson firefly."

"I can't help it," Sasuke spoke up just as quietly as he had before. He was afraid if he spoke any louder he would be heard by the person he had just abandoned. "The dream just felt so real and so tempting. I can't help being selfish. If my family really is gone then can I really be blamed for such a thing?" He bowed his head a little and kept his eyes shut tight.

"That's for others to judge, isn't it? I tend to view things far differently." Kyuu let a small moment of silence fall between them. He sniffed the air before speaking again. "You should probably compose yourself then, if you're expecting to meet your brother." His hand lifted from Sasuke's head.

"My brother?" Sasuke blinked his eyes opened finally. The statement shocked him as he hadn't been expecting to meet Itachi at all. He took a moment to slide back up the tree so he could stand on two feet and allow his hands to fall back to his sides. "What do you mean, Kyuu?" He glanced to the side to finally look at Kyuu who he had not looked at the entire time. "I thought it was just a dream?"

A razor fine grin was there to meet Sasuke on Kyuu's lips. "I didn't actually say it was a dream. I merely suggested it." His grin spread to reveal a neat row of jagged teeth. "Remember, Juusan: reality is subjective."

There was a hard poke to the back of Sasuke's head, and as Sasuke blinked flinching to the offensive touch Kyuu was gone from sight. The stars had come back from the inky sky and lanterns could be seen in the distance once again. The world was no longer so dark.

"Hey, little brother, just who are you talking to?"

Sasuke turned his eyes towards the person that had spoken and indeed it was Itachi that stood there looking at him with a curious expression. Sasuke easily took it all in stride since he was used to the changes in reality, but still it left him a little speechless for a few seconds. "Umm, no one. I was just thinking out loud. It's nothing, really." He relaxed back against the tree again and dropped his eyes down. Maybe this had been a mistake, but he was still so curious.

Soon a warm hand rested on Sasuke's forehead. "No fever still. But you're still going on about dreams." Itachi gave a gentle sigh. "Perhaps it was a bad idea to drag you out so late." He gave Sasuke's collar a tug. "You're bare foot and in your pajamas out in the cold. This is no way to get better, little brother."

Sasuke flinched over the fact he had been heard by Itachi. "I know, but I was kind of in a rush." He reached up to place his hand over his brother's own. "I'm sorry. I know you said I should take better care of myself, but I'm still curious to know what you wanted to talk about." He dropped his hand away and looked back up at his brother. "I'm fine, really." It was far from the truth, but he needed Itachi to believe him for now.

Itachi tsked and took the time to brush one side of Sasuke's bangs behind his ear. "So quick to jump right into it? I'm sure your curiosity has been eating you all day. You never had much patience for much of anything." He managed a brief smile before he let his hand fall away. "I don't know why I felt like I could be more honest now, out here, at this time of night with you. I suppose it seems a little strange." Itachi shrugged off the robe he wore over his casual kimono. He tugged Sasuke forward so he could settle the coat over his little brother's shoulders, making sure it covered him well. "A lot has been going on I suppose. It felt safer here."

Sasuke blinked and looked down at the robe that was suddenly on his shoulders. It was the least he had expected and it brought a small smile to his lips. He hugged the article of clothing close to him, feeling much warmer with it around then he had previously. "Well, it's quieter out here. A lot nicer too. Inside we have to worry about Mother and Father listening in to whatever is said. At least out here we're only under the stars." He looked away from the sky where his gaze had moved to look his brother in the eyes. "Mmm, why? Did you think you couldn't be honest with me otherwise?"

Itachi held Sasuke's gaze, unwavering. He finally gave a nod in answer, closing his eyes to find his calm. "Out here it's just you and me. The only one to listen in is a cherry blossom tree." The corners of his lips upturned in a little amusement. "Not many rumours a tree can spread."

"Not really, no." Sasuke turned around to face the tree. He lifted both arms up to grab a branch and began to climb without using any real chakra control. It just felt better to climb the branches manually for the moment while he continued to speak, "We can talk about anything we want to out here. I promise not to tell if you don't want me to, brother." Once he reached a safe branch Sasuke sat down on it, but soon dropped to hang upside down from his legs while facing Itachi.

"So childish." Itachi poked Sasuke so he swayed some in his upside down state. Still he smiled more at how light hearted Sasuke acted, he felt more at ease because of it. "I suppose I should ask you the question. You have been waiting all day. It's quite serious and very personal though."

"I'm all ears." Sasuke placed his hands behind both of his ears for a moment to emphasize his point and even went so far as to try and push his bangs back behind them. It did little good since they fell back down because gravity wasn't his friend at the moment. "So, ask it! I'm anxious to know and you're right, I have been waiting all day." His mind had been moving in twists and turns so far. If he found out the question maybe the dream would be over. One of the dreams at least.

"Sasuke," Itachi started quietly as he found his brother's gaze again, "what do you want to do with the rest of your life?"

Sasuke was startled for a moment and it showed in his expression. He didn't understand what the big deal was with such a question. Of course he had to think about such a thing and forced himself back up to sit on the branch properly. "Well, um... I'm not sure." There was such a difference between this world and the other, but in a way they were the same. In both he wanted to be something great. To make something of himself. The only difference was his reasoning. "I want to continue my training, I suppose. I want to try and better myself so I can make people proud." That was a safe answer.

Itachi nodded as he gave a quiet sound of acknowledgement. "I figured as much," he murmured more to himself. He looked back to Sasuke. "You want to be me," he stated plainly. A cool wind blew by rustling leaves of the tree. "Follow in the same foot steps." Itachi ran a few fingers through his hair, holding it back so the wind wouldn't blow it into his face.

Sasuke kept silent after such a statement. Did he really want to be like Itachi? In this world perhaps, but what about in the other dream? He had already proven in that dream that he had the capability to be just as ruthless. It was why he had tried to stay as far away from the village as possible. It was the reason he had tried to keep Naruto away from him. Without realizing it his hands had tightened around the branch before he spoke up once again, "Yeah, you're right."

Itachi moved to lean against the tree much like Sasuke had done, his gaze kept forward into the garden, but it was easy to see that his mind was else where. "It's not what you think it is, little brother. Climbing to the top so quickly, it leaves you with no where else to go. The options left are," Itachi's eyes fell half closed as he spoke more distantly, "few and often unsavory."

"Mmm, what do you mean by that?" Sasuke finally let go of the branch, but kept narrowed eyes on it for a few seconds. He then made himself comfortable by laying across it on his stomach and allowed one of his arms and legs to drape down over the branch while he rested his head on his other arm. "If you're at the top isn't that a good thing? It just means lots of work, right?"

"Responsibility, yes. But once you're at the top there's no where else to go. There's nothing left to climb." Itachi leaned his head back against the trunk as he shut his eyes once again. "It's restrictive, I suppose. You wouldn't think so, but with no room to grow further, what else can be done. You're confined. Closed in and held captive in this neat little package- and passed around while people peek inside and give praise." He let out an aggravated breath as he reclined further against the tree. "Is that what you want to be, little brother? Is that the sort of thing you strive to achieve?"

Sasuke furrowed his brows. Such a thing didn't sound very appealing at all to be quite honest. Sure, he wanted to try and strive to actually be something worthwhile, but not if it meant feeling cramped and cornered in such a way. "I guess not. Still, I've always been training to be a good Shinobi. Mother and Father expect it of me now. I don't really want to disappoint anyone, and why would I do anything else?"

Itachi's eyes flickered open and he leaned his head back to look up at Sasuke. "Praise. It means nothing to me. I've heard the same words over and over again from everyone's lips... It's hollow now. Empty. Heh, failure seems almost appealing in comparison."

"You want to fail?" Sasuke asked the words with an almost childlike innocence. In a way he was frightened by what such a thing could mean, but this place was different. Itachi wasn't the same person as the other dream. They were just speaking as brothers. "Mmm, maybe you just need a change of pace, brother. I imagine it could get very old and boring doing the same routine day in and day out. It doesn't sound fun at all."

"That won't change my future. A 'change of pace' won't stop or alter things to come. Mother and Father may praise me, but, to them I've become nothing but an object. A prize. A bartering piece." Itachi gave a strange chuckle. "You really are ignorant of the politics that goes on in our clan. Becoming something important means more than just honour, praise and fame."

"I doubt they think of you as an object, brother." Sasuke had ducked his head while he mumbled the words into his arm. He kept his eyes down just enough so he could watch Itachi. The words hurt in a way to be told such a thing. He knew becoming something great meant being respected in the clan, but Itachi spoke as if everything he had learned was wrong. "Well, what exactly do you mean? What are you talking about?"

Itachi soon climbed up the tree as well. The difference in height was bothersome, especially since his younger brother was higher. He wanted them on equal ground. He sat himself beside Sasuke, his legs dangling from the branch. Itachi seemed hesitant to continue for he kept his silence for a long moment after Sasuke's questions. When he spoke up again his voice was quiet and serious, "You know our clan can be quite traditional, little brother. Betrothal isn't uncommon with the Uchiha, nor wedding of distant cousins to keep our blood, the kekkei genkai pure."

Sasuke sat up, but continued to allow his feet to dangle as well from the tree. He narrowed his eyes a little as he tried to get a better grasp on the conversation that was taking place. "Yes, I know this. I know it happens from time to time." He shrugged a shoulder and settled back against the bark of the tree behind him while he continued to keep an eye on his brother. "You're bringing this up so suddenly. About only finding boredom in your position. About Mother and Father only thinking of you as an object. And now this. I wish you would stop treading so lightly with your words and just talk, brother." His eyes narrowed further after his stern speech.

A rather sad smile spread across Itachi's lips. Perhaps he was going about things in circles. It wasn't often he was so honest nor talked so much, he couldn't help the tangents. But soon all that he said would make sense. "Do you remember Taka? She's a year older than you. Their family lives near the center of our district. Her family is a very distant cousin of us in their lineage, but yet still Uchiha in name. Their family has done great things. Her father helped furthering the Uchiha district. And I'm sure you know their family has a past history of brave honourable Shinobi." Itachi knitted his fingers together on his lap and took to keeping his eyes on them. "Father has spoken to me, of a betrothal to Taka. Taka's father is offering plenty as a dowry. And there is also plenty to gain by this merger of our two respective families. It would bring much to our own family, and the Uchiha name. Wealth. Honour. A further expansion of our clan's place in Konoha. Our clan's voice would be that much louder in Konohagakure."

Sasuke felt as if his stomach had dropped and he blinked with wide eyes at Itachi. This is what his brother had wished to speak to him about? A betrothal to someone Sasuke hardly even remembered.  Somehow it seemed wrong to Sasuke. He rarely got to see his brother as it was. Every moment with Itachi was precious to him, but marriage only meant there would be no more playing around with 'little brother'. It was a grown up life that Sasuke wasn't allowed to be a part of. It was too much and he found that he couldn't keep the cool expression off of his face as he looked away. "What are you going to do?"

Itachi slowly shook his head at that question. "What choice do I have? I'm the eldest son. It's my duty." He glanced at Sasuke who was looking else where. "Or so Father tells me." He simply watched Sasuke a moment before he reached out as always to tuck Sasuke's hair behind his ear.

Sasuke shook his head immediately to free himself from the touch. It felt intrusive at the moment after all that had been said. As if he had been betrayed and was about to be left alone. Maybe this was the wrong dream to say yes to. Maybe it had been wrong to be selfish. "So you'll marry a person you might not even love just because Father tells you it's your duty?" Sasuke rarely spoke ill of their traditions, but somehow he just didn't like this.

Itachi took the push away as a sign to near. Sasuke's question was rather different. Usually Sasuke was very obedient, especially of their Father. "Would you rather I say 'no' and dishonour not only myself but our father and our family?" curiosity peeked in his calm voice. "As I told you before, little brother, the latter choices are... very unsavory."

Sasuke couldn't help still being annoyed over the conversation despite what was said to him. Still, the last few words spoken caused him to turn his head back around to glance at Itachi out the corner of his eyes. Itachi was right. He was usually in the dark about most of what happened in their clan since he was the youngest, so he didn't understand much of what would happen if Itachi refused. "Well, like what?"

"Banishment. Perhaps, expulsion from the Uchiha clan. Perhaps, in the worse case scenario, even death. To save face and honour." Itachi glanced down at the ground; shadows clung to his face as well as his thoughts.

Sasuke's annoyance became shock and soon he was shaking his head to deny what was said. "No, that's not true. That wouldn't happen. None of that would happen." He finally moved forward on the branch to reach out and cling with one hand to his brother. "Mother and Father wouldn't go so far as to do such horrible things. They love us. They love you. They wouldn't do that."

Itachi slipped his fingers through the spiky hair at the back of Sasuke's head. He ruffled the hair with his fingers offering some affectionate comfort to his little brother, a little for himself as well. He kept his gaze on Sasuke's worried face a moment. "What about you?" his voice fell quieter than normal.

"M-Me?" Sasuke blinked a little after the question. He had taken comfort in the touch given to him just as Itachi had planned, but the words startled him out of it. He still kept a tight grip on his brother as if he would suddenly disappear at any second. "What do you mean me? Do you actually think I would condemn you if you chose to do something other then what people expected of you? That's stupid. I know it's wrong to go against Father's wishes, but sometimes tradition is just a bunch of stupid bull." He swallowed hard after such words.

For once Itachi blinked rather wide eyed and startled. That was not something he ever expected to hear from his little brother's mouth. It caused him to do something that wasn't something he did often, Itachi out right laughed. He couldn't help it; Sasuke's outspoken words struck him as rather funny. He ruffled his little brother's hair, burying his fingers more in the dark hair. "Ah, Sasuke. That was rather outspoken of you."

Sasuke flushed a little over the fact he had been laughed at for something he never would have dared say out loud in front of his parents. He didn't think he would have said it at all if not for his worry over his brother. Still, it had been Itachi's laughter that brought a smile to his face. It was something that was rare. In fact he could never remember hearing such a thing. His brother was always so quiet and reserved. Always eager to please the family. He never allowed himself a moment. "Mmm, I guess. It's the truth, though."

Itachi returned the smile more. In a strange way he was far more at ease now. "Although that wasn't entirely what I was asking." He idly toyed with the hair at the nape of Sasuke's neck, smoothing it down. "I was asking if you loved me too."

Sasuke flushed a little more when he realized he had blurted out so much for no real reason. He didn't shy away from the touch though while he scoffed at the question. "Of course I do, brother. What type of question is that to ask me? You should know that I do."

"I never like to assume when I don't have to. And lately I haven't been sure of much. You aren't the only one who hasn't been in their right head space lately." Itachi's smile fell away as well as his hand in Sasuke's hair. "It's hard to see how people perceive me anymore. To know who or what I am to anyone anymore, I can't really tell." His gaze fell away to such honesties. "I feel blind."

Sasuke frowned and moved forward a little more so he could get a better look at Itachi's face. "Everyone thinks the best of you, brother, you should know this. Everyone respects you. I know I do. I know that Mother and Father wouldn't just see you as some type of thing to give away to someone else's daughter in the clan. They love you so much." He reached his hand out to place it on Itachi's own. "What do you think of yourself?" he asked quietly and in a curious tone.

Itachi's gaze stayed where it had fallen even after the question. His dark eyes stared beyond his sights. His mind latched tight around that one question, running it over and over, dissecting the meaning; complex or simplicity? To give in and be the good son that he was or to ruin it all for shame. All he had ever been was what everyone else wanted him to be. Itachi never saw himself as opinionated, just logical, and calculating. He sometimes wished he could be ruled by the heart, like others were, like Sasuke; whether his little brother admitted to it or not.

Slowly Itachi allowed himself to look at Sasuke. In a fluid motion, even before he himself realized it, he buried his hand in Sasuke's hair to pull his brother forward to press their lips together. A brief shocking kiss and Itachi ended it as quickly as he had started it. "I don't think very highly of myself," he whispered his admittance as he tucked Sasuke's hair behind his ear once more.

Sasuke drank in as much air as he could after such a shocking kiss. He realized after a few seconds that his eyes were looking else where straight ahead instead of at his brother. Slowly, he turned his gaze up to stare into Itachi's eyes, but he couldn't get any words out at all. He couldn't even move an inch. He felt frozen in his state of shock.

Itachi's eyes fell half way as he stared back at Sasuke; as expected he had broken his brother, unintentionally. "And at heart," his hand slipped down from Sasuke's hair to stroke the side of his neck with a few fingers, "I don't think I'm a very good person. I think I could be very selfish if I wanted to. And I have a very bad habit of doing anything to achieve any goal I want." Itachi gave a shaking exhale before he leaned down to kiss Sasuke again, bringing his brother gently close by the back of his neck.

Sasuke's eyes went even wider then before and his noises were muffled against his brother's lips. He lifted both hands up as if to push Itachi away at first, but slowly his fingers settled into cloth. He clung much like before and his eyes slipped shut. This all felt very familiar, but at the moment he wasn't sure he cared why. It was too hard to think straight while he allowed Itachi to kiss him.

The kiss went on for a moment longer before Itachi ended it once again. He had never been a terribly affectionate person but he pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of Sasuke's lips, ending with barely a brushed kiss to his cheek and crook of neck. Itachi then held Sasuke, a close embrace since his little brother decided to cling so tightly to his kimono. Gently he smoothed the hair at the back of Sasuke's head. "I'm sorry," he very quietly whispered; it was the only right thing to say.

Sasuke could only give a gentle shake of his head. He buried his face against his brother's chest a little, but made sure he could still speak as soon as he wanted to. It was still so hard to get his thoughts in order. "W-Why?" He swallowed hard. "Why me? Why do something like that?" He finally pulled back and made sure to look into Itachi's eyes once again after each question was spoken.

Itachi gave a slow blink. 'Why?' Why was it always so hard for him to answer 'why'? "Because... you're the only person I can find myself caring for. Everyone else views me as something iconic. No one looks past my abilities to the who Itachi Uchiha is. All I can feel is apathy now, for everyone. Anyone." The robe was falling from Sasuke's shoulders so Itachi pulled it back up and tighter around his little brother. "Save for you, little brother."

Sasuke looked down and pulled the robe close enough so he was huddled inside of it. He looked back up at Itachi for a second before he glanced away again, feeling himself flush. All of this should have been very wrong, but he didn't find himself caring as much as he should have. It was possibly that one familiar feeling he had that didn't allow him to care. "Well, I always looked up to you and praised you. Doesn't that count?"

Itachi gave a light sound of amusement. "It's different I guess. You know me and I've known you since we were little. There's things we know and have shared with each other that no one could ever mimic. It's real." He shut his eyes and shrugged. "It's different with the adults. You'll understand someday, little brother." Itachi couldn't help the added teasing, it lightened the mood.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as he shot Itachi a look. "I understand plenty." He looked away again while he turned on the branch to let his feet dangle better over the edge. "What will you do about our parents? Is this really what you wanted to speak to me about? All of this?" He ducked his head a little. "You can't just do something like this and then think it will be okay to go off marry who Father wishes you to."

Itachi gave a soft chuckle. He sat himself much like Sasuke, feet hanging down. He slipped his arm over his younger brother's shoulder and ruffled his hair to ease him. "So much worry for one little mind," Itachi sighed the words rather dramatically. "Yes, this is all. It is a bit much, I know. I haven't made any major decisions, so try not to make yourself sicker with worry." Itachi pulled Sasuke nearer by his shoulders in a playful manner.

"I'm not worried," Sasuke spoke stubbornly. He leaned in to rest against Itachi and found himself relaxing near his brother's side. "It's just unexpected, that's all." He allowed his eyes to slip shut while he pulled the robe his brother had given him even closer to his body. Despite all that had just happened nothing really felt awkward between himself and Itachi. Things still felt alright at that moment and he still respected his brother no matter what.

"I don't expect anything," Itachi quietly spoke. His fingers drifted through Sasuke's hair, brushing through the long bangs that draped along the side of his brother's face. "I just thought you should know. You had a right to know. You're not as young as everyone still thinks you are. You're finally at an age where I feel I can confide in you. Even if what I have to say is terrible or shameful. I don't think you'd hold it against me."

Sasuke opened his eyes halfway at that. He could recall all the terrible things he had done in his other dream. He didn't have any rights to hold anything against Itachi. Real or not he would only be a hypocrite. "It's not shameful and I wouldn't do such a thing as hold something against you. You're only human. We all are." He closed his eyes once again and pressed closer to Itachi since it was so chilly outside despite the robe he had been given. "I care about you, brother."

"I care about you too," Itachi quietly returned. His gaze then went up, to the moon nearly full. He had said all he'd come for, there wasn't much more needed to be said now. Sasuke's answers had been vague at best but Itachi had patience to wait for solid answers form his younger brother. Sasuke could accept or reject what he had said. Itachi would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous; few things could shake his nerves. For now Itachi kept his silence while he let his brother keep snuggled up to him.

Sasuke didn't disturb the silence between them. It felt like something rare that they were never allowed to have. His mind was filled with so much to think about now, but that didn't stop him from reaching one hand out to clasp fingers between Itachi's own. He knew it was a somewhat intimate gesture from few times he had done it before with someone else. The entire time he kept his eyes closed and continued to relax, making sure Itachi stayed near.

"Sasuke... I have a small request." Itachi gave a low thoughtful sound as he skimmed his thumb over the side of Sasuke's hand. "Well, I guess it isn't small at all. Heh, I suppose it's more shameful than small, really." He glanced down at Sasuke who was bundled close to him. The sight caused a new smile to perk on Itachi's lips. He couldn't resist leaning down to press a small kiss to Sasuke's forehead. "Or maybe I should just shoo you off to bed."

Sasuke peeked an eye open after the one little kiss. He glanced up with the one eye as best he could in his position while he kept his hand in Itachi's own. "No, I'm fine. I was just relaxing. You are the one that told me I should." He smiled a little, but curiosity soon got the best of him. "What is it?"

Itachi let out a calming breath, before bold words left him so easy "Come to bed with me?"

Sasuke sat up straight in an instant while he stared at Itachi as if he hadn't heard his brother right. He wasn't at all naive and knew exactly what such a question could mean, especially after all that had been talked about. It caused Sasuke to swallow hard and finally look away towards the ground. He pulled his hand away and crossed both over his chest while he asked a question of his own, "What about Mother and Father? They'll wonder."

"We'll be up in the morning before them." Itachi gave a slight chuckle. "We won't be doing anything immoral, if that's what you're worried about." He chuckled a little more; Sasuke looked as if his heart would beat out of his chest any moment. "I just want you near. Maybe I could keep those bad dreams away." Itachi raised his thin brows, amused. "Or were you expecting something more?"

"N-No!" Sasuke nearly shouted while he snapped his head around to glare at his brother. He hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt at the moment. "I wasn't expecting anything. I was just being cautious, that's all." He lifted a hand to push at Itachi's shoulder. "Geez, you're a pervert, brother." He looked away once again and huffed.

For the second rare time Itachi found himself laughing again. He'd never been called a 'pervert' before. It made Sasuke's reaction rather priceless; it was rather cute. Still that didn't stop Itachi from leaning over to place a quick kiss on the more sensitive part of Sasuke's ear. "Calling me a 'pervert', does that translate to a 'yes' or a 'no'?"

Sasuke blushed a little more after such a kiss. He ducked his head down a bit more and kicked his bare feet together as he hummed quietly as if actually giving the question some deep thought. He felt like the little kid he used to be under his brother's intense gaze instead of a teenager at the moment. "Yes, I will. I don't mind."

"Well then," Itachi wasted no time grabbing up his brother, "we best be getting inside where it's warm. I'm very tired, and I'm sure you'll agree a nice long restful sleep sounds very inviting." Once he had Sasuke in his arms, despite the squirming, he hopped out of the tree to land on the ground with ease.

"I-Itachi!" Sasuke spoke his brother's name with a whine. "I can walk myself, you know." He continued to squirm, but it seemed such a loss since his brother refused to give up and allow him to walk on his own. Sasuke's expression became one of annoyance, but still there was the hint of a smile there and he had to stop himself from laughing at how absurd the entire situation was.

"If you don't settle down, hmmm, I'll kiss you again," Itachi threatened playfully in his calmness. "Right here. Out in the open. Or worse- in the house." He had to stop at the door since he had to figure out how to free a hand while keeping his squirmy brother in his arms. "That might quiet you down."

Sasuke did the most childish thing he could think of. Something he used to always do to Itachi when he was upset at his older brother. He stuck his tongue out at him and made a rather rude noise with his mouth. Afterwards he finally laughed and kicked his feet, not able to get a word out because of his amusement.

Itachi's thin brows rose. "You didn't just," he trailed off as the corner of his lips smirked up. "You little brat!" He tickled Sasuke's side some with his fingers, poking ribs and pinching playfully. "You're going to get it, and you're going to get it good, little brother." Following through on his threat he attacked Sasuke's neck with a few ticklish kisses.

Sasuke's laughter grew louder with such actions and he kicked his feet just a little more. The kisses caused him to squirm more as well.  Soon he reached up to wrap his arms around his brother's neck, keeping him close since it was rather enjoyable despite how ticklish it all was. "Stop it, brother. We're going to wake Mother and Father!" Sasuke finally managed to speak between fits of laughter.

"Tch, if you haven't already woken them up with your giggle," Itachi playfully scolded against Sasuke's neck. He gave a bold playful lick along the side of Sasuke's neck as he ceased tickling his side. Instead Itachi held Sasuke nearer as he placed a few more kisses on damp skin, sucking on skin to leave little possessive marks unbeknown to Sasuke himself.

Sasuke's laughter died away almost instantly. Soon soft noises took its place that he just couldn't stop. He wasn't used to such actions from his brother and they continued to leave him squirming. His eyes fell halfway while his hold around his brother's neck tightened just a little as he couldn't help enjoying what Itachi did.

Itachi's lips found themselves against Sasuke's ear. There he murmured, "Let's go inside now, hmm?" Sasuke could feel the hint of a grin against his ear. "Think you can manage to be quiet?" It was vague in context but Sasuke wasn't given chance to argue since Itachi decided then that his brother's ear was worth having a small taste.

Sasuke couldn't figure out how to be coherent enough to answer as soon as his ear was attacked. The little noise that left him was far from quiet and innocent and his fingers buried themselves in what they could of his brother's hair. "Y-Yes. Okay." Sasuke finally managed some form of speech as little as it was, but still his eyes kept closed.

Sasuke could hear the door slide open to their house, and Itachi's steps as he walked inside soon closing the door after. The foot steps that followed to Itachi's room soon faded with Sasuke's focus. There was no going back now, not with the choices he made or admitted. One step forward and thirty six steps back. Thirty six steps to Itachi's room. And the other dream faded away.